Losing
by ficusmarie
Summary: Most likely, deep down, he hates you, too, for what you did. You don’t blame him. You hate yourself." L/J Oneshot. 2nd person. Review!


**Losing**

**By HoMeSlIcE4LiFe**

_**Summary: Most likely, deep down, he hates you, too, for what you did.  
You don't blame him. You hate yourself.**_

_Disclaimer: I don't own the world of Harry Potter!_

_A/N: Okay, guys, this is in L/J originally, but you could probably come up with a few other couples for this story. I hope you all enjoy and I'd love for you to leave a review on your way out. And, now, we begin:_

You are sitting on a white bench as snow falls down on your face. The cold stings you as if your face was slapped. Your nose and cheeks are pink, and your lips chapped. Your cap, scarf, gloves, and clothes keep the rest of your body warm. The contrast bothers you, but you concede that you concede that you cannot do a thing about it right now. Your best friend is on the opposite side of you, mindlessly chatting about the one who is currently on your mind.

You don't want to admit that he's gotten to you, that he's in your thoughts. Because, if you do, he's won. He'll win because your heart, and mind, would be his. You can't allow this. You won't allow this. You've been fighting this too long and hard to give up now. He was going to crack any day now. You were sure of it. Still, you could not deny that this was a worthy opponent that you have been put up against. Your comrade has put up a good fight.

You couldn't deny that. There were a lot of things you couldn't deny about him lately. You hate to admit this, and you never will out loud. Nevertheless, you can't not admit what he's done to you, body and mind.

He's made you think. You've reconsidered decisions, ideas, and beliefs because of him. You've had to rethink your entire outlook on life. You've begun to choose friends over school, Hogsmeade over the library, and dates over sleep. Your priorities have changed, causing yourself to change as well. You've become happy, fun, and it's all because of him. He can't know that he's changed you for the better, and that you're grateful for it.

You've also changed your appearance. You dress with more care than before. You wear make-up and fix your hair every morning. You stand up straight with your chin up and head high because you know and feel beautiful. And it's all thanks to him. He's helped you more than you'll admit, and he'll imagine.

Sometimes, when you see him, you get a strong urge to tell him how grateful you are, but every time you stop yourself, because you've thanked him already. You thank him by hating him, even though he deserves better for saving you from yourself. For all you've received from him, he gets so little back from you. He's become important, and you won't admit that either.

Whenever he says you're beautiful, or that he loves you, you pretend to brush it off; but, really, you soak it in, lavishing in the compliments. You know what he says is true, because everyone trusts him, and you do too. So, when he says your eyes sparkle like jewels, you know it's true, and so does the world.

You wish you could by honest like he is, but you can't because of the hundred-pound façade that you can't seem to lift. You're stuck pretending that he means nothing, when he really means so much, instead of the person that's everything to you. And there's nothing you can do about it.

You convince yourself that you're going to win with him giving up, but it's too late. You've already lost. You've lost the war and you've lost your chance with an amazing person. It's all because of your pride. That damn pride. You imagine all the wonderful times you would've had if it weren't for that.

You regret it now. You regret every yell, every fight, every mean name, and every hateful thought. It's taken you over six years to realize this, and it's too late. You've done too many things to take back, to forget. You can't. He probably won't.

Most likely, deep down, he hates you, too, for what you did. You don't blame him. You hate yourself.

You look up at your best friend and see him standing off behind her. He's laughing with his three friends, walking into a shop. Before he goes in, though, he looks at you. The two of you lock eyes for just a moment. Then, he smiles, and you can't help but smile back. And as he goes in the store, you realize something.

This war ended a long time ago.

And you've lost.

But so has he.

_A/N So? How'd it go for you all? Like? Love? Hate? Drop a review and let me know darlings! Oh, and my english teacher said that 2nd person is childish and should be reserved for books for five year olds. What do you think? I don't think so, but I'm just wondering what the general consensus is._

_Love!_

_Alex_


End file.
